Reading is above all else an emotional experience. We read to connect with characters, to experience their emotions and to compare them to our own. Nailing emotion is therefore essential to writing compelling fiction. But how to be sure to write emotion in a way that is realistic and relatable?

To begin with, it’s important to agree that emotion needs to be expressed by the characters themselves. If relayed by the narrator (‘Peter is feeling sad today’) with no cues or signs of sadness coming from Peter, the scene isn’t going to lift off the page. In what ways might a character communicate how they are feeling? Emotion might be conveyed through verbal communication: dialogue. “I’m feeling rather sad today,” says the character. It has been claimed, however, that 97% of all communication is nonverbal. This percentage is today refuted but the idea remains the same: if you convey a character’s emotion through dialogue alone, the reader will not fully feel or experience the emotion themselves, and the scene will consequently feel flat.

A writer must therefore describe nonverbal communication. This can be broken down into three elements:

• Physical signs (body language and actions),

• Internal sensations (visceral reactions),

• Mental responses or thoughts.

Physical signs are how our bodies outwardly respond when we experience emotion. The stronger the feeling, the more the body reacts and the less conscious control we have over movement. Visceral reactions (breathing, heart rate, adrenaline spikes etc.) are uncontrolled body responses which all people experience and can recognise. Internal sensations are the most powerful forms of nonverbal communication and should be used sparingly to avoid melodrama. Thought, as a way to express emotion, is an excellent way of conveying a character’s unique voice and how they see their world.

Example

Below are two examples. In the first example, the reader is told by the narrator what the characters are feeling, in the second example, the reader is shown the characters’ physical and internal responses.

1. Mrs Patridge’s eyes were sad as she gave him the news. ‘I’m sorry, Philip, but your presence is no longer needed.’ Instantly, Philip was angrier than he’d ever been in his life.

2. Philip sat on the chair’s edge, spine straight as a new pencil, and stared into Mrs Patridge’s face. Eleven years he’d given to the committee, sacrificing holidays, sacrificing time with his children, his wife. Now she wouldn’t even look at him, just kept fiddling with her folder and rearranging the fancy photo frames on her desk. Clearly, she didn’t want to give him the news, he wasn’t about to make it easy for her. Mrs Patridge cleared her throat for the sixth time. ‘Philip… Mr. Goodfellow…it appears that your position on the committee is no longer—’ Philip jerked to his feet, sending his chair flying over the lino. It hit the wall with a satisfying bang as he stormed out of the office.

Common mistakes

The Clichés:

• The grin stretching from ear to ear

• Quivering knees that knock together

• A single tear

Clichés are a sign of lazy writing, and they lack depth. Instead, when writing a certain emotion, think about your body and what happens to it when you’re feeling that way. When embarrassed, does your voice pitch higher and louder? Do you suddenly make a compulsive, repetitive moment, like rubbing your neck or your hands? Watch other people too, how do they react? Your character will also express emotion in their own unique way. One might explode as soon as their word is put into doubt, another might fall over themselves to apologise over and over again in an obsequious and cringe-inducing manner. The more individual the reaction, the more realistic the emotion.   Twist the cliché: Let’s be honest, some clichés work well. So why not take it and give it an original twist? Shivers running up and down the spine could become a shiver swarming over the back of the legs or along the arms. Or described by the puckering of skin or the image of a lonely bush shivering in an unfriendly wind. Don’t be afraid to experiment.

Melodrama

It is a mistake to assume that to be gripping, emotion has to be dramatic. That sad people should burst into tears. That gleeful characters should jump up and down with joy. In real life, emotion isn’t always so demonstrative, and this kind of writing can lead to a sense of disbelief in the reader. Rather emotions run along a continuum, from mild to extreme, and it’s important to respect a realistic progression in the character’s emotional arc. If, for example, your character discovers her beloved brother is in a critical state at the hospital and she immediately starts crying, vomiting, and contemplating suicide, it will feel like too much too soon. If, however, we witness her move through the different stages from contentment, to shock, to disbelief, to grief, to finally hope, the progression will feel more realistic.

“While real life can sustain intense emotion for long periods of time, it is nearly impossible for the written word to do so in a way that readers will accept.”

And before you say anything – yes, real life can be very dramatic with extreme displays of emotion. Rather unfairly, while real life can sustain intense emotion for long periods of time, it is nearly impossible for the written word to do so in a way that readers will accept. Long emotional passages slow the action. Stay as long as necessary to develop empathy in your reader and then move on.   Less is more: When writing about something very intense emotionally for your character, it can be good to create a little distance. Imagine your character has lost her four-year old daughter. Instead of having her cry and think about how terrible she’s feeling, watching her navigate life without her daughter would be more poignant. We might, for example, watch her come across a Lego Eiffel Tower hidden under some foliage in the garden, a Lego tower for which she’d smacked her child for losing because it had cost so much money. We might watch her dismantle that Eiffel Tower, throwing it piece by piece into the garden around her, and then later, watch as she spends the evening by the light of a torch, collecting all those pieces back together and fall asleep with the tower hugged to her chest.

Emotion is best conveyed through a mixture of dialogue, thoughts and body language, without relying too heavily on the one.

Excessive dialogue or thoughts

If the writer only uses dialogue, they are reduced to weak techniques, like telling the reader what’s being felt, or over-using exclamation points to show intensity. ‘I can’t believe it!’ I said. ‘Paris! I’m so happy!’ On the other hand, conveying everything through thought, with no actual dialogue between the character and whoever else is there can also seem unrealistic. My pulse was pounding somewhere around in the 150 range. I did it! Paris! I threw my arms around Professor Lionel. I’d think about this later and cringe with embarrassment, but right now, I didn’t care. I’d done it! DONE IT! Wouldn’t the two characters have said something out loud? Emotion is best conveyed through a mixture of dialogue, thoughts and body language, without relying too heavily on the one.

Conclusion

Writing emotion is a balancing act between showing too little feeling and showing too much. Most writers tend to rely too heavily on the same emotional indicators over and over. Take the time to create fresh and engaging emotional description and the reader will identify and connect much more deeply with your characters and the story. Need some help? The Emotion Thesaurus may be helpful, or sign up to one of our events, or check out our editorial services here.